I was watching short videos and historical figures were collectively vomiting blood! - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Short Video Money-Making System – Big Mimi, I Love You!

[Goddess, can you help me click on Pinduoduo?].

In a small rental apartment in the capital of China, Lin Ming was trying to get a free box of bread. To do so, he sent a Pinduoduo bargain request to his college crush, Mu Qianqian.

[I clicked for you, Lin Ming. Can you help me click too?].

Not long after, Mu Qianqian replied and sent him a bargain request of her own. Lin Ming smirked, his fingers flying across the screen as he typed a response.

[Sorry, but I refuse to be a simp. It starts with me!].

Mu Qianqian: [???].

After sending the message, Lin Ming looked at his almost-completed bargain—just 0.001 away from success. He nearly spat blood in frustration.

“I really thought that was the last one!”

“The deepest pit I’ve ever fallen into is Pinduoduo. The anticipation they create is insane!”

He pouted.

That box of bread was supposed to be his food supply for the next half month. Now it was gone. And to top it off, he had been unemployed for over a month since graduation. The reality of his situation hit him like a bucket of ice water.

He looked around his rental unit, which had the ambiance of a war-torn Syria. The bleakness made his heart sink further. Just then, a new message popped up on WeStar.

[Lin Ming, stop trying to chase me!].

[With your Pinduoduo-level spending habits, you actually think you can win me over? Dream on, you toad wanting to eat swan meat! Block me already!].

Mu Qianqian seemed furious. But she conveniently forgot—she was using Pinduoduo too.

Lin Ming chuckled.

[Lmao, I admit it. I did like you in college.

But I also liked Lili, Mengqi, Shiya, Ruixue, Wan’er, Jiajia…

There are plenty of girls I liked—you don’t even make the top ranks!].

With that, he blocked Mu Qianqian first.

Some girls are just like that. They look down on others for being low-class but never examine their own standing. After handling the situation, Lin Ming lay on his bed, exasperated.

“Not only did I transmigrate, but I landed in the body of a total simp!”

“And if that wasn’t bad enough, he’s dirt poor!”

“WeStar balance: 2 yuan. That’s barely enough for two plain buns and a tiny pack of cheap spicy sticks. I can’t even afford Weilong brand. Pathetic.”

“Maybe I should try borrowing some money.”

It was noon, and his stomach growled relentlessly. Lin Ming couldn’t take it anymore. Just as he picked up his phone, two new messages popped up on WeStar.

[Handsome, want to come have some tea today?].

[There are fresh new girls, and some of them can even move on their own~ Guaranteed tender, juicy, and full of fun!].

As a seasoned veteran, Lin Ming immediately understood what this meant. No wonder this body’s previous owner was so broke—he had been spending all his money on this nonsense!

Lin Ming ignored the message.

He couldn’t even afford food—where would he find the energy to “have tea”?

The second message was an unknown link.

Lin Ming clicked on it, and suddenly, his screen changed. An app automatically downloaded itself. Once downloaded, the app launched on its own.

Ding!

[Wan Gu Tong Short Video App successfully installed! Congratulations on becoming the first registered user! You have received an exclusive starter reward: Earn 100 yuan for every short video you watch! Bonuses stack infinitely!].

[Additionally, you will earn extra points! 1 point = 1,000 yuan in cash! What are you waiting for? Start watching now!].

“Wan Gu Tong? Getting paid to watch videos? This scam method is so outdated.”

“But damn, scam apps these days are next level.”

“The whole thing auto-downloaded, auto-installed, and auto-launched… just like those ‘tea’ girls—it moves on its own!”

“…Wait a sec.”

“My name, address, phone number, and bank details were all automatically retrieved!”

Lin Ming stared at the app’s personal info page in shock. This was practically malware. Before he could react, the app started running on its own. The first video began playing.

[The Four Rising Star Beauties of the Entertainment Industry – The Ultimate Favorite: Big Mimi!].

The screen was soon filled with stunning photo collections of the four starlets. Their dazzling looks and breathtaking moments played one after another.

[Your bank account ending in 1890 has received a deposit of 100 yuan. Current balance: 100.00 yuan.].

Before Lin Ming could even process the beautiful images, a notification popped up. 100 yuan had been deposited into his account. He was stunned.

“It actually paid me!”

“Big Mimi, I freaking love you! The woman who aligns with my preferences truly brings me luck!”

The app returned to normal, and Lin Ming switched into full-on money-making mode.

[Your bank account ending in 1890 has received a deposit of 500 yuan. Current balance: 600.00 yuan.].

[Your bank account ending in 1890 has received a deposit of 1,000 yuan. Current balance: 1,600.00 yuan.].

“Damn, Big Mimi’s got some serious… scale to her.”

“A man needs to admire grand things, after all!”

_____

At the same time, across different dynasties and realms, a massive glowing screen that had been floating in the sky for days finally showed movement!

DONG! DONG! DONG!

Three majestic chimes rang out, resonating across time itself. In that instant, countless emperors, legendary figures, and common folk all looked up in shock.

Since its appearance, some worshiped it as a divine sign, offering prayers and incense. Others saw it as an omen and erected altars for protection.

_____

Inside a grand palace complex, dark and imposing, the Qin King’s Hall stood tall like a sword piercing the heavens. In the main hall, Emperor Ying Zheng had just finished accepting his ministers’ bows.

The unification of the six states was nearly complete. The Qin Dynasty was at its peak. He, Ying Zheng, had not failed his ancestors!

“The Six States… now belong to Great Qin!”

At that moment, the chimes rang, and the celestial screen shifted.

“The divine miracle is revealing itself!”

“Heaven favors Great Qin!”

“I shall not only be the First Emperor but ensure Qin’s rule for generations—forever!”

“No! I must attain immortality!”

Ying Zheng discarded all pretense of imperial composure, striding out of the hall with urgency.

“Your Majesty, please take care of your health!”

Li Si, Zhao Gao, and Meng Tian hurried after him, worried about any unexpected developments. However, when Ying Zheng looked up at the celestial screen—his face darkened instantly.

Displayed on it was a collection of sensual photos of Big Mimi, her breathtaking curves displayed in their full glory. The men of Great Qin were dumbstruck. The women felt ashamed—none of them could compare to such beauty.

At the front of the Qin King’s Hall, Ying Zheng waved his sleeve furiously.

“Such filth must be the work of the Six States’ remnants, trying to corrupt Qin’s destiny!”

“General Meng Tian!”

“Lead the army and exterminate every last one of those rebels!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

Meng Tian accepted the order but couldn’t help sneaking another glance at the celestial screen. He then shot a meaningful look at Zhao Gao, whose face was bright red.

Eunuchs really had no business admiring such sights, huh?