I was watching short videos and historical figures were collectively vomiting blood! - Chapter 16

Chapter 16 Pan Jinlian—Dalang, Drink Your Medicine

Heavenly Screen Broadcast: Pan Jinlian Poisons Wu Dalang and Has an Affair with Ximen Qing

“This man has the strength to subdue a tiger! If all my Qin warriors possessed such bravery, we would have unified the world long ago! Though we have now achieved unification, the land is still unsettled. We desperately need such fierce generals.”

Ying Zheng gazed at the heavenly screen, watching as a ferocious tiger was struck dead by a man’s fists. For a moment, even he was stunned.

Yet, this Wu Song, though skilled in martial arts, seemed to be wasting his talents on slaying wild beasts. Wouldn’t his strength be better used elsewhere?

“Where is Meng Tian?”

Ying Zheng suddenly had an idea and called out. Meng Tian stepped forward from among the generals.

“Your Majesty, what are your orders?”

After pondering for a moment, Ying Zheng declared, “Go capture a live tiger for me. Release it into the training grounds and post a challenge. Whoever can kill the tiger with their bare hands shall be rewarded with a thousand gold coins, appointed as Grand Marshal, and granted a thousand acres of fertile land!”

“Using a tiger to select talent—Your Majesty’s strategy is truly masterful!”

Zhao Gao, ever eager to flatter, quickly stepped forward with praise.

—

Liu Che clenched his fists.

“Wei Qing, can you fight a tiger?”

Wei Qing hesitated before bowing.

“Your Majesty, I must admit my shame—I cannot. Subduing a dragon or taming a tiger, such feats are rare in this world. I am not among those who can accomplish them.”

“What about Huo Qubing?” Liu Che asked, suddenly struck by a thought.

Wei Qing paused, then replied, “Huo Qubing is undoubtedly an exceptional military strategist, but if we speak of single combat, I fear he may not match this Wu Song.”

Liu Che nodded in understanding.

To possess such a warrior—what a dream!

But one cannot have both fish and a bear’s paw. He already had Huo Qubing, which was enough to make the other emperors envious.

—

Liu Bang was astounded.

“I only ever slew a white serpent in my time, yet this Wu Song killed a tiger with his bare hands. Why is it that he never made his mark in the annals of emperors and generals?”

Beside him, Lü Zhi remarked, “Mere brute strength. Governing a nation requires wisdom and strategy—strength alone is not enough.”

Liu Bang shot her a sideways glance but said nothing. The Lü clan had better know their place. If they ever dared meddle in politics, he would not hesitate to deal with them ruthlessly!

—

On Zishi Street in Yanggu County, within a two-story home, Wu Dalang lay sick in bed, watching the broadcast on the heavenly screen. Despite his illness, his pale face was suddenly filled with joy. A touch of color returned to his complexion.

“Er-lang has such remarkable skill—he has truly brought honor to our family!”

Though Wu Dalang was short in stature, he was no fool. He knew that with his younger brother’s feat of slaying a tiger, Wu Song was sure to gain fame and fortune. At the very least, his name would spread far and wide. As Wu Song’s elder brother, this reflected well on him too. If only he could live long enough to see his brother return home…

Just then, a beautiful woman with a flirtatious demeanor lifted the curtain and entered the room.

“Dalang, it’s time for your medicine.”

Pan Jinlian’s delicate face carried a feigned look of concern. But today, beneath her usual facade, there was also a flicker of unease, fear, and cold determination.

These conflicting emotions made her expression look rather unnatural. Wu Dalang noticed this at once and let out a cold snort.

“Don’t think I don’t know about your affair with Ximen Qing. If you still want to live in peace, break things off with him immediately! Otherwise, when my brother returns, you two will suffer the consequences!”

His voice carried an air of authority.

However, being sickly, his words lacked strength, sounding weak and feeble—almost laughable. Pan Jinlian, who had been feeling guilty, suddenly steeled herself upon hearing this. She stepped forward, holding the bowl of medicine.

“Dalang, I will do as you say. When your brother returns, our family will reunite and live in harmony.”

“It was my fault before. Please don’t hold it against me. From now on, I will take good care of you.”

“Sigh…”

Hearing this, Wu Dalang softened.

Lying weakly on the bed, he murmured, “My dear, I fear I won’t live much longer.”

“Drink your medicine first.”

“It’s too bitter. Do I really have to?”

Despite his complaints, Wu Dalang struggled to sit up.

Pan Jinlian urged him gently.

“Drink.”

She brought the bowl closer. But at that moment, a deafening clap of thunder suddenly echoed from the heavenly screen.

A large, bold title appeared.

Upon seeing this, Wu Dalang stared at the bowl of medicine.

“?”

Pan Jinlian: “?”

Ximen Qing, lurking outside the door: “?”

Wang Po: “?”

Outside Yanggu County,

Wu Song: “!!!”