I was watching short videos and historical figures were collectively vomiting blood! - Chapter 32

Chapter 32 Xu Fu, I Want the Moonlight Treasure Box Too!

Han Dynasty Realm.

Guan Hanqing put down the Dou E’s Grievance script he was pondering and looked up, savoring the scenes from A Chinese Odyssey.

I never expected that the creativity of future generations would be so uninhibited, truly imaginative and extraordinary! It’s amazing!

He thought to himself, perhaps he should write a humorous and witty play too.

Ming Dynasty Realm.

Dong Zhongshu, who was writing the script for Mu Guiying Takes Command, looked disdainfully at the A Chinese Odyssey on the sky screen.

“People do not look like people, monsters do not look like monsters, immortals do not look like immortals—what kind of nonsense is this?”

“Has the culture of future generations become so frivolous, lacking depth?”

…

Zhang Huaimin said, “Brother Su, I think this play on the sky screen is more entertaining than what the theater troupes perform. It’s a fun way to pass the time.”

Su Shi, sipping a drink, nodded.

“I guess this play is just one of many styles in their culture.”

…

【Sister, this is your fault. Wukong only wants to eat me—it’s just an idea, not a reality. You have no proof, so how can you accuse him?】

【Why not wait until he eats me, then you’ll have evidence to condemn him?】

【Tang Seng, I’ve heard you talk about this a lot, but I didn’t realize you were this talkative! I gave you the Vajra Circle to subdue this monkey, but you didn’t even use it.】

【Sigh! The Vajra Circle is poorly made, front-heavy and back-light, too narrow on the left and too wide on the right. It’s uncomfortable to wear, and I can’t sleep with it on. It’s a hassle for me.】

【Even though he’s a monkey, you can’t treat him like that. The officials will say I’m abusing animals.】

【Speaking of Vajra Circle, I met a blacksmith in Chenjia Village last year. His workmanship is excellent, prices are fair, and he doesn’t cheat anyone. I’ll introduce you to him, and you can order another one.】

【Shut up!】

【My mistake, my mistake!】

…

“Haha, I can watch this a hundred more times and still find it funny. Stephen Chow is magnificent!”

Wang Mang, holding a handful of sunflower seeds, watched the screen, cracking them open. The concubines nearby didn’t understand his actions and wanted to join in, but it was hard for them to connect with what he was doing.

…

Emperor Zhu Yuanzhang looked at the sky screen and muttered, “Do people in future generations not respect Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva?”

“Perhaps people in later generations have other deities they worship?”

Empress Ma speculated beside him.

“Hehe, this is really funny. Tang Seng is just too entertaining,” she laughed.

Zhu Yuanzhang, feeling a bit jealous, retorted, “Are you saying we’re not entertaining, little sister?”

Nearby, Zhu Biao remained silent, and Zhu Di raised an eyebrow.

…

Qin Dynasty Realm.

“Is there really a Moonlight Treasure Box that can travel through time and space?”

Ying Zheng looked up at the sky, pondering if, beyond the elixir of immortality, there were other immortality-related treasures at the Three Immortal Islands, Penglai, and Fangzhang.

“Call Xu Fu here.”

Moments later, Xu Fu entered the Qin King’s palace. When Xu Fu learned that Ying Zheng wanted him to search for the Moonlight Treasure Box, his mouth twitched uncontrollably.

An elixir of immortality could be faked with other things, but how could he acquire a time-traveling celestial artifact? This was ridiculous!

To quote the words from the previous screen comments, Ying Zheng really was thinking up one absurd idea after another.

…

【Before, when you watched the moon with me, you called me little sweetheart. Now, the new person is better than the old one, and you call her Lady Niu.】

【When you fainted, you called out Jingjing’s name 98 times.】

【Jingjing is my wife.】

【You also called out Zixia’s name 784 times.】

【Huh?】

【784 times. Zixia must owe you a lot of money.】

…

【Last night, in your dream, you called Zixia’s name 785 times, one more than last time.】

【Last night I asked a spider to tell you that I miss you. Do you know?】

【Do you know that I’ve been lying to you all along?】

【Lying is fine, like a moth flying into the fire, knowing it will get hurt, but still rushing in. Moths are just that silly.】

…

Dong Zhongshu, who had been criticizing the play, had already put down his script and was watching the screen with even more focus than Guan Hanqing.

“How come it was so funny at the beginning, but now it feels like something’s off?”

At the same time, Guan Hanqing also sensed something wasn’t quite right.

“According to the structure of the play, does this mean it’s going to turn into a tragedy later?”

…

Li Qingzhao had long stopped laughing and looked at the sky screen with a serious expression.

“I don’t know why, but at first it was so joyful, and now I feel a deep sense of heartache. Why? Why isn’t Zhenzunbao with Zixia? They already pulled out the destined sword.”

…

Li Shangyin frowned.

“Like a moth to the flame, knowing it will burn, but still rushing in. How much does this resemble love?”

Nalan Xingde said, “A lifetime, a pair of souls. Even if deceived, as long as there’s a happy ending, it’s worth it.”

Lu You sighed, “This reminds me of Wan’er, with her delicate hands and yellow wine… I wonder how she’s doing now.” He then continued writing the famous Chai Tou Feng on the wall.

…

【Is Zixia a question mark or an exclamation mark in your heart? Is your mind full of question marks?】

【Zixia is just someone I know. I once lied to her, but now I feel a little guilty. I’m starting to hate her more! I’m getting married tomorrow. What do you want from me?】

【One day, when you realize you’ve fallen in love with someone you hate, that’s the most dangerous feeling.】

【But how could I fall in love with someone I hate? Please give me a reason.】

【Does love need a reason?】

【Doesn’t it?】

【Does it?】

…

Han Dynasty.

After hearing these lines, Lü Zhi glanced at Liu Bang, who was watching the movie nearby with great interest. A rare tenderness appeared in her eyes.

No matter how Liu Bang treated her, she had chosen to forgive him in the end. Whether he was successful or in decline, Lü Zhi had always followed him faithfully. This was hard to say wasn’t due to the unique love she felt.

Seemingly sensing Lü Zhi’s gaze, Liu Bang quietly extended his hand and took hers. They sat there silently, watching the sky screen together.

In this moment, Liu Bang was not the emperor, and Lü Zhi was not the empress. They were just an ordinary couple, looking up at the sky.